I have read ALL the books about donor eggs.

Most women who go through the donor egg process have also read ALL the books. From the moment we learn we will need someone else’s DNA to conceive, we head straight to Amazon to fill our cart. We are so eager for information and education that we throw ourselves at any and all resources made available to us. Sadly, there aren’t that many.

The best books I found have either been clinically focused, written by therapists or scientists and children’s books with beautiful imagery. I absolutely love reading children’s books, even by myself. It’s a great exercise to try to see things from the child’s perspective.

But, I never found a book written by someone like me - an infertile woman with broken eggs searching for hope.

Through the great books and articles I have read on the topic, I learned a lot about challenges that may arise, how to speak about the donor with my child, and tips for navigating difficult conversations. I took away useful guidance and tools to cope with the fear I was having. I felt very well prepared for the logistics and possible outcomes, but I never felt like I got the reassurance I needed to proceed. I had to find that on my own.

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Like many women who are faced with the idea of conceiving via donor eggs, what we need most is hope.

I looked to my doctors, therapists, friends and family to tell me it was all going to be okay. No one was able to give me the perspective I needed. They tried their best to tell me what I needed to hear, but still I felt so lost. I was asking people for directions that hadn’t been where I was going. How are they supposed to know?

I needed to hear from someone who had been through this, that could tell me they didn’t have any regrets. I wanted to know that they were happy and had bonded with their baby. I wanted to hear that they were madly in love with their child and that their child loved them too.

I felt so alone in my grief. No one truly understood what it felt like to grieve my DNA getting passed on, not even my husband.

No one really knows what it feels like to carry a baby in your belly, via someone else’s genetics, until you have done it.

I felt like an outcast, when in reality, it is extremely common to use an egg donor to conceive. Yet, I was never able to find a book that spoke to my heart as a grieving mother.

So, I decided to write one!

It took me a long time to write it, because it needed to be perfect. I wanted to honor both the pain and the beauty, and leave my readers with hope to carry on this magical path of parenthood.

So, that’s what I did - I wrote a book!

Fifty four pages of my heart, soul and tears, dedicated to the one who inspired me to write it - my magical little girl, Florence, on her 2nd Birthday.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BABY GIRL!!

It’s titled “Why I’m Glad my Eggs Didn’t Work” because that’s the best way to sum up my feelings about this journey. I’m grateful, glad, overjoyed and elated that my eggs didn’t work.

It’s a book beyond clinical trials, data and research. It is a personal story about rising above your broken eggs and finding purpose and joy. It’s a place to find comfort in knowing you are truly seen and heard, and a sense of relief that it’s all going to be okay.

Come cry with me, laugh with me and celebrate the joy of finding your way to and through motherhood via someone else’s genetics. It’s definitely worth celebrating!