I used to think infertility made me less of a woman. I felt un-sexy. I felt inadequate. I felt like a failure. I would look at myself in the mirror and cry. And cry. And cry. I would look at my injection bruises and surgery scars and feel shame.  I was embarrassed.  I felt like I wasn't "enough". But, now I see someone different. I see a new version of me. I see someone with guts and tenacity. I see a woman who has survived tragedy and become stronger from it. I see someone who is more of a woman because of what I have overcome, and continue to overcome.

With infertility, everyday is a new battle. A battle against yourself. A battle to stay strong and positive, when all you want to do is cry. It's very easy to dwell on how unfair and hard it is. Sometimes we need to sit in the muck and be angry, sad and negative to cope. 

I've never been much of a religious person. But, I've always believed there is some sort of "higher power" out there. It's kinda cool to think that God still has his eye on me.  Could I really give up control to someone greater than me?  Now, I'm not saying I CAN give up control, honestly, I don't know if I can. But I'm gonna f*cking try.