Starting a family is supposed to be filled with joy and excitement — at least that’s what society tells us. Right? We never expect to include a third person into our family building narrative, or that we will experience a deep level of grief while trying to conceive. You will likely find yourself doing countless hours of research and reading on the topic, attending therapy sessions and support groups and making friends with complete strangers on social media who also walked this path, who ultimately become your safe people. You may experience shock, grief, and even trauma as you navigate the path to parenthood via donor conception.
The Ultimate IVF App to Help You Stay Sane While Managing the IVF Process
I vividly remember my very first IVF cycle. The doctor sent me home with a stack of papers with protocols and lists of medications I needed to take with dates and times of when I’d needed to take them. Some were oral pills, some vaginal suppositories, some intramuscular injections, and some in the tummy.
10 Things I Wish I Knew About Donor Eggs That I Know Now
Infertility Is Trauma
Infertility is trauma. And although, infertility was not life threatening, it often felt like I was dying. 8 years of watching friends and family have baby, after baby. Sometimes with some effort, sometimes by accident. Feeling left behind, alone, unwanted, undeserving. Constant fear, anxiety, panic.
Moving on to IVF and Overcoming The Sticker Shock
I constantly ask myself... WHY did I spend all that time and money on IUI? Why did I do this to myself 5 fucking times!? Don't do what I did! Well, unless your insurance covers it, then, you do you! I can assure you, it will still take a HUGE toll on your emotional state. You really need to ask yourself if it's worth it.
The Holidays Can Suck When You Are Infertile.
If you are experiencing infertility, or a pregnancy loss, etc. you are probably dreading the holidays.
You are mentally preparing for all of the potential "baby" scenarios. Like, that beautiful pregnant cousin of yours, all glowy and shit. Why is she so damn perfect anyway? Great-grandma means well, but you know the "when are you having kids" question is coming. Bless her little heart. And the thought of all the little kids opening gifts and sharing special moments with their parents will having you running for the nearest bottle of vodka and box of tissues.
The Dreaded "When Are You Having Kids?" Question
Whether you are dating, married, or over 30 and single, there is always some f*cking idiot who asks the question - "When are you going to have kids?" or "Are you guys trying?". We've all heard it. And we all HATE it! My husband, Jonathan, and I have had years and years of practice with this question. So, I thought, Hell, why not share our favorite comebacks.
Coping with Pregnancy Announcements
In my talks with other women experiencing infertility, I've found that it's never easy when a loved one gets pregnant. We all experience it. It doesn't matter who the person is. A family member, a friend, or a co-worker. It's ALWAYS hard.The feelings can be really dark and ugly. Don't feel bad about those feelings. We all get them. I promise!
But here's the deal...
Infertile And Feeling Excluded From the "Mommys"
What Infertility Grief Feels Like.
I know what grieving feels like. That feeling of deep, deep sadness. Constant crying until you run out of tears. Anger. Emptiness. Guilt. Worry. Helplessness. Hopelessness. That pain in your gut you just can’t explain. I honestly just thought I was really f*cking sad. The kind of sadness you feel in your bones. The kind of sadness that brings unpredictable tears that you never see coming. The kind of sadness that makes it hard for you to be happy for people you love. The kind of sadness that is so deep it feels like it's a part of you. A physiological sadness, if you will.