You Need To Know

How to Talk to Friends and Family About Using an Egg Donor to Start a Family

How to Talk to Friends and Family About Using an Egg Donor to Start a Family

Starting a family is supposed to be filled with joy and excitement — at least that’s what society tells us. Right? We never expect to include a third person into our family building narrative, or that we will experience a deep level of grief while trying to conceive. You will likely find yourself doing countless hours of research and reading on the topic, attending therapy sessions and support groups and making friends with complete strangers on social media who also walked this path, who ultimately become your safe people. You may experience shock, grief, and even trauma as you navigate the path to parenthood via donor conception.

The Ultimate IVF App to Help You Stay Sane While Managing the IVF Process

The Ultimate IVF App to Help You Stay Sane While Managing the IVF Process

I vividly remember my very first IVF cycle. The doctor sent me home with a stack of papers with protocols and lists of medications I needed to take with dates and times of when I’d needed to take them. Some were oral pills, some vaginal suppositories, some intramuscular injections, and some in the tummy.

Secondary Infertility Is Still Infertility

Secondary Infertility Is Still Infertility

Secondary infertility is a huge slap in the face. It’s like learning to ride a bike so well and then all of a sudden your body is thrown off the bike uncontrollably. It’s the feeling of failure when your child asks “mama, why can’t I have a sister?”. It’s knowing the love you have for your own sibling and wanting that love for the person you love the most.

I Survived Infertility And So Will You.

I Survived Infertility And So Will You.

I remember this defining moment like it was yesterday. The doctor told me that it was almost impossible for me to conceive. She told me that it was going to be a huge uphill battle if I wanted to get pregnant. I had already tried multiple rounds of fertility treatments, IUIs, IVF, laparoscopy, acupuncture, Chinese herbs, you name it. Infertility was my life. It had consumed every piece of my being. I didn’t go on trips, I didn’t eat certain foods, I was wearing UGG boots in the summer because someone told me it would help my fertility if I kept my feet warm.

Moving on to IVF and Overcoming The Sticker Shock

Moving on to IVF and Overcoming The Sticker Shock

I constantly ask myself... WHY did I spend all that time and money on IUI? Why did I do this to myself 5 fucking times!? Don't do what I did! Well, unless your insurance covers it, then, you do you! I can assure you, it will still take a HUGE toll on your emotional state. You really need to ask yourself if it's worth it. 

It's Okay To Take a Break From Fertility Treatments.

It's Okay To Take a Break From Fertility Treatments.

We have avoided planning trips just in case I need to be local for a procedure.  My husband had to cancel a guys getaway because we needed him to be "on call" to unload the swimming soldiers. We've put other dreams on hold because our fertility treatments took all of our damn money.  We've missed important work meetings, special events, and just plain life. This process has had us by the balls. Literally. (sorry honey). We knew it is time to take a break from fertility treatments. And that's perfectly OKAY.

DNA Does Not Make You a Mother.

DNA Does Not Make You a Mother.

I used to think that I would feel more like the child's "real mother" if we resembled each other. That a blue eyed baby with light hair would make me feel like a "normal" mom in some way. I thought it would be easier for the child to see me as his/her mother if we looked a like. Being a parent is about Love. Nurture. Support. Comfort. Understanding. Love. Love. And more Love. DNA does not make you a mother. Love does. 

The Cost of Infertility: Help me I'm Poor.

The Cost of Infertility: Help me I'm Poor.

Most people have no idea how financially stressful the fertility process can be. But the money is just a part of the pain. Yea, it hurts. But that's the least of the hurt, honestly. We WERE finally on a path to success (or so we thought).  We had all the hope in the world! Our checkbook was poor but our hearts were full and rich with love! "It will all be worth it in the end" they say! And then my heart got ripped out of my f*cking chest. 

Valuable Lessons I Learned About Infertility, I Wish I Knew Early On.

Valuable Lessons I Learned About Infertility, I Wish I Knew Early On.

There are many lessons I have learned on my journey through infertility, and many of them I had to learn the hard way. I had no idea how hard this would really be, and when you are feeling alone in the process you tend to question your feelings. Am I the only want who feels this way? Am I a bad person for my feelings?